nvm..i changed the address for my blog as i want to write some personal stuff in it, it's not going to work if the critical person reads it. i would be so conscious of what i am writing. Actually i noe how tt felt abt me, but somehow i just don't want to admit it. why? because i feel very stressed up and worried at the same time. god! what's the problem with me? then why do i still keep coming online? damn it! i just realised that i like the IDEA of having a boyfriend but i DO NOT want a boyfriend. somehow it's just that simple. i am happy with my present state now with my friends and family and a do not want to have another person in my life. i feel that irc is just another place for me to have fun, talking to boys or just crapping to anyone down there, is just for my leisure or maybe sometimes when i need to talk to someone. i do not have the intention of meeting them or them becoming part of my life. To me, people in irc are so unreal to me, they are just made up of words and alphabets and it is all the same to me. maybe i'm selfish i don't know, you may say i am toying with other people's feelings but to me, that's just how irc works! abide the rules if you want to play the game! people go there for fun and are not down to any serious things. Finally i know why i am attracted to teens because the pple there are sort of not serious. They are so superficial, they don't even remember you when u log in the next time. In fact, that is what i want.
Therefore, i am very se-ri-ous-ly thinking of making things back to square one again, maybe i should delete all my irc contacts and try to find new ones again. that should be a great idea. though it will be hard, but it should do me good because i won't be so bothered about them. Then again, i should ask myself, why not just quit irc and msn? isn't that the most ultimate? yeah..i should i guess...