i always wonder....especially in moods like today (the kind of lonely n depress mood)..wat r frens? how can they just act as nthg happen n leave me alone sitting at the bus stop n them, less than 10 metres away, tok happily amongst themselves...it's like "hur?" either i din noe them at all or they r ignoring me. suddenly i feel so distant frm them. y is this happening? i felt sour...extremely sour. m i suppose to always be in the mood of crapping, n cheerful that they will be toking to me? once i m sad n quiet, they all shun me...ignoring me. no attempt of any conversation. i'm just like a dog following them to the bus stop, after that go our separate ways home. this is the way it should be? i dunno..i din noe frens' relationship with each other is like that. if this is the case, i rather be "surface" frens with Jithra, Sherry or maybe huiling...or they think i'm becuming huiling, so i'm ostrasize? i dunno..i only noe that i dun feel good at all...:( when i want to tok to someone, i juz realised that i haf nobody to tok personally to..not the type where deep into the heart. they juz say i'm stress, i have PMS..n treat as if nthg happen. a. said "i dunno how to tell her.." it was as if i just got to noe her yesterday. u mean after 4 yrs of friendship, u still cant be open wif me? since u cant, den i wouldn't, shouldn't n ought not to. i am so pathetic, i cant even find a proper fren to tok to :( i dun wan to keep everything to myself, but i haf difficulty opening up myself to someone else. it's a pride thingey where u dun wan pple to think "oh my god, u r this kind of a person?" i dun wan others to view me in a weird manner. i cant take it. yeah. i cant take it. sometimes i feel i m so superficial. :l