i m quite lost. i dunno wad to feel. haiz..i m miserable leh.i dun like eric. it's like wad happen to qr. haiz..but this time it's different.cos i understand it better now. it's not tt i like eric. it's because he's not cute. besides, he hasnt had any character that attracts me in fact. i like funny n crappy guys. but he bores me..he says he likes my company, but i think i m bored by him.dun think i keep on mentioning him means that i m thinking abt him. it's a process of thoughts, i m clearer abt wad i want and wad i dun wan.the online is fun but the 'offline' is not fun.he was like msging me to go out n study. for the first time, i feel disgusted. and he say go out more often? eee...i shiver..brrrr..i seriously dun wan to see him again leh.i dun even feel like toking to him online.it's disgusting. tt's wad i think. it kept recurring in my mind that he looks like this malay crescent girl..ya..a malay. i cant remember how he looks anyway. i feel disgusted. ya..disgusted disgusted disgusted disgusted disgusted. yucks. to think i even wrote him a letter.lucky it's nth mushy..juz some goodbye msg. oh yes, that reminds me of the letter he sent me. i wanna throw it away now!and those traces of dried tears on the letter..yucks man..a guy actually cries.. he's really not my type. really..i can oni treat him as a brother.
after sunday, which is on monday, i went to sch..halfway thru, i felt sick, had flu..so mr lim let me off..i could go home. but haha..i din go home cos i din feel like getting down the bus..at the same time i was sniffing..sat all the way to bukit batok interchange. went to west mall, i was looking rather sick..red eyes..then went to the machine to refill my farecard..walking like a zombie to west mall..hahas..was super curious to see how i looked..so i went to the toilet..and also i think it was abit obscene lar..to wear that stickman tee and my cgs shorts..so i went to change into my skirt, tied up my hair properly..then walked out again. i was very reluctant to go home lahs..so went to walk arnd..went to the supermarket to see if there was anything i wanted to eat..sadly, nth seemed to catch my eye..haiz..sian..even eating is not tempting..west mall nth liao..so sad rite..then i went home lors..in the bus i half slpt half awake again..dunno wad to do..then sniffing here n there..think the uncle beside me was suspecting tt i was crying or sth? anyway..i looked like one lah..hahas..my eyes kinda red..n i think i looked pale or sth..
ya..but anyway..thanks to philip..i really haf to thank him..used to think that he's ABIT irritating cos once i online he will msg me..then yest..i was kinda happy after looking at jia hui's nick--> eating now,anyway no1 will msg me oso..or sth liddat..tt's kinda sad man! actually i was oso having same thoughts...then abit sad lah..hahas..then phillip came online..then as usual, he said hi! hahas..no fail..he tot that i was abit sad abt joseph tt part..but it wasnt lah..i din tell him oso..juz told him when i decided to tell, i will tell..hahas..then he say bringme go out for a movie lor..he's very nice leh..hahas..somehow my 'kor' lar..i used to think tt such things are childish..but it's good to noe that a fren would always be there to share your problems with u..which is sth that is very appreciating..at least i noe that there's someone there for me la..as in a frn..ya..hahas..juz wanna say thank you! HAHA he's always there to encourage me...thanks.. =))))