ok..i havent been blogging..prolly my blog title is just to encourage myself

the only thing i prolly have the love, zeal and passion for is online sprees.it has been hella addictive (God, i am sorry). looking at cheap stuff.shopping is prolly every girl's love butttttt basically anything that is sold outside now seems so expensive to me.my budget has decreased from max 30 bucks a top to max 25. the only trade off for online shopping is prolly time. but the thing is, you get the same thing like 5 bucks cheaper when u get it online as compared to shops outside. you have to wait for at least ONE MONTH. if u plot a enthusiasm level vs time, you prolly get a bell shaped curve. dun ask me for the mean and standard deviation. i will work that out some day.bahh. yes yes.trying to be funny.i laugh at my own jokes okaeee. XD

hais.i had more or less the same sentiments as yizhi..came from her blog.

anyway, i feel that i am drifting away from my friends. my old friends. existing friends. new friends.whatever lahs. (with the exception of huifang, that is) it's a contradiction.i wanna be alone.yet the same time i dun wanna lose contact with my friends.bahh. besides, quantity doesnt equate to quality. time / no. of friends = little time per friend. of course, it is impossible to be close to everyone..buddd.hai.i dunno what i am doin lah.and so the days just pass. felt that i am back to the state when i first entered fish. dunno lahs..hai..ok.prolly on my part..i havent been trying.have been lazy...

my health is dipping to a real low i have no idea why.and my mum just keeps nagging that i should take care of myself and she would get me to the chinese physician.NO WAY i am gonna eat the herbal stuff especially if they make u wanna eat more. imagine how chubby i would grow!! ohoh.and she suggested acupuncture.OH MY GOSH. that is even worse. i think it's the insufficient sleep and erm..some irregular diet..

my next point.coming to the part about marriage and relationships.on saturday's bs, (which i finally went after ponning and returning back to the status of a irregular, sadly) some views that i have. commonly (?) discussed.or struggles that some christians have about being equally or unequally yoke. i am sitting on the fence. in my own humble opinion.yes, it is important for christians to be equally yoked.we need our fellow bros and sis to support us needless to say our spouse whom we will be living with and sharing more intimate stuff(?) and maybe as we grow older, our spouse will probably be the only closest person to give us the spiritual support that we need in times of crisis.

but.who knows, maybe God wants you to save your partner? basically from the sharing session, most who have gone through said it is impossible. dunno.havent been there, havent done that.hmm..i have been thinking..in 1 Cor..some have the gift of singleness and some the gift of marriage. wah.that voice in me tells me 'oh man.i better not have the gift of singleness' then it leads to other things like..i wont be able to serve well if i am married/attached..am i serving now? what is my direction now? lost..everything is just in a mess..there's this great inertia in me..hai.ok.i am kind of lamenting on the fact that i still dun have a bf.in uni, u see couples everywhere.even if i am not conscious of it in the first place, looking at all these..thinking of the what ifs..anyways. i also dun have the energy to place my attention on anyone now. so yups.keep my fingers crossed. i am stressedd.but not stressedd.

stay at the state where i am at now.equilibrium.

just wanna add in some stuff that i was reading for my lesson. talking about food sacrifices to idols and crumbling a fellow weak christian (aka new convert). it's like from sexual immorality to marriage and then to food sacrifices..abit no link (to me).hahas.but this absurd thought came to my mind during sat's bs..if i am unequally yoked and a weak christian looks at the state i am, would i destroy her/him? that would be a terrible sin yes? ok..i dunno if it's irrelevant and whether i can put it in this context..

whichever the case. i was emo on saturday night.

Cheers.