i messaged shu at around 5:12am in the morning. SURPRISINGLY!! she replied 5 minutes later. so sorry girl!! if i disturbed you..my bad. but anyhows, God has once again spoke to me this morning's service. He sent me 2 messages.

Message One
Basically, it's the issue of 'Trust' and i am well aware that this problem surfaces whenever i am not walking right with God. I know it especially when thoughts like 'maybe i should do this and that, to get things back on track' creep in. Pastor spoke about, the way we want God to fill our needs. Are we waiting patiently or we do it ourselves since God doesnt seem to fullfil us. that kinda thing. and i get it. Patience only comes with spiritual maturity. Today's message was just what i needed. The assurance was just nice. The worship team did well too!! applause for yap, hannah, tim, samuel, helsa, johanna and shawn!! (Hope i din leave anyone out) and i love the song they sang today. 'Made me Glad'. though that was the only one song i sang today, it was appropriate. Yepps. I left church much more light hearted than i walked in. seriously.

Message Two
There's something wrong and He is calling me back.

Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. (Matt 4:4, NIV)

Actually, this semester started well. I kept the momentum for school work and all. I walked with the Lord. Everything was going well and i was all fired up for schoolwork. But, it's in a mess now. Assignments pour in and the longest hiatus for QT. Madness. yes. No more QT, No more focus. This morning i asked God why is it so hard. It's not hard at all. The answer is simply: trust.

So where to, do i go from here? Fellowship.Discipleship.Worship. This three words just surfaced on my head. right.

random stuff. i like goFish. no idea why. reminds me of the times when i were in sec 3, the days were much carefree (apart from studying), there's not much to worry about. prolly cause i was in a world of my own that time. call it escapism or what, i wish very much to return to my younger days.

1 Peter 5:2 Care for the flock of God entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly - not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God.

I dunno if i am eager to serve God for that matter (maybe i just dun realise) but i know it's enjoyable time spent during GoFish so far. or maybe it's just the starting that i am not weighed down by all the problems yet. but it's ok, as long as God gives me his strength. yeah.the boys can be cheeky and at times it can be exasperating just doing crowd control. no joke. they are still so monkey in sec 3. dots. But there's this urge in me to want to be involved in their lives. I hope to see them grow in their walk with God just like how i did. It might be slow but it's fine. as long as they grow. I pray that God will direct me in my ministry in group 2 and work tog with meg, chiang, claire and tim!!

the biggest change i see in myself since sec school is prolly the attitude i have towards other people's lives. there was indifference. i dun bother. i just din wanna care much. it's me myself and I.but right now where i stand, God has taught me to learn how to love others. still learning tho. we all have our shortcomings, it cant be changed all at once but you know God is slowly working in you and changing you. Only recently i realised it's a nice feeling to be able to give that listening ear to a troubled friend. There's no need to provide solutions, cos that' s not my job. it's God's job. as for my problems, God has the solutions to them.

oh yess. eagerly waiting for my gojane shoes to arrive. quick quick!